I was standing in our kitchen, our colicky two-month-old strapped to my chest while she protested the pain in her stomach. My eardrums ached about as much as my heart did seeing her hurting, and next came on the guilt that only a nursing mom knows when there are suspected food allergies. I had abstained from all dairy, peppers, onions and chocolate for weeks, and it didn’t make a lick of difference. She had the dreaded colic, something I had never dealt with before, that produced hours of crying every night and a demand to be nursed every two hours from day one. Her high needs plus the ongoing lack of sleep made everything harder.
Why I’m Glad My Eight Year Old Saw A Counselor
It was a typical afternoon. My oldest daughters had just arrived home from school and were unpacking their things in the kitchen. I began my usual questions starting with “How was your day?” and multiple conversations were filling the air when one particular sentence caught my attention. “I saw a counselor today,” B mentioned nonchalantly while pulling wads of papers from her school binder. I was immediately concerned, confused, and had to stop and pause for a moment. I interrupted her, “What do you mean you went to a counselor today?” I asked. Still shuffling between her backpack, the refrigerator, and the pantry, she began relaying a story I had not expected.
Sixteen Months Ago {My First Experience With Anxiety & Depression}
1st Trimester Anxiety
I’m now in my 11th week and it’s been an interesting first trimester.I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant. I had my first period and ovulation since Dallin had weaned and BOOM, it happened! We weren’t using any type of contraception, but we were not expecting it to happen so quickly. Immediately birth plans began brewing in my head. I assumed that I would automatically feel great about homebirth this time, and I let that simmer for a while. I had not interviewed any homebirth providers, but I figured heck, I want to know NOW whether homebirth is right for me, and that was a mistake. Ultimately I didn’t feel great about homebirth, which isn’t a surprise thinking back. I had not done my part of interviewing, thinking it out in my mind, praying about my exact plan etc. I was frustrated that I wasn’t getting the answer that I wanted and began feeling really lost about this pregnancy and birth. I felt so unprepared.Continue Reading