being real
I grew him from a seed
fed and watered by my blood, my body
280 Days
under a blood moon
my moon shaped body, full of life, opened and then closed
he emerged from my womb, cradled in warm waters, marked at his navel
and powerless.
38 Weeks And Counting {Preparations for Home Birth}
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I will be 38 weeks on the dot! A while back we made the final decision that we are all in for a home birth, whether our insurance is or not. I think he saw the emotional toll it was taking on me, phone call after phone call with the insurance, and he didn’t think it was worth it. It was a struggle for me, being ok with the financial part of it, but there is still a good chance that they will pay for part of the birth (after I go through the appeal process). All in all, it’s money, and it’s not going to break us. If my insurance does smart up and pay for their portion, it may actually be the same cost as it was for Dallin. Either way, we will be ok, and thank goodness for tax returns!
Next Month {Observations Of My 4th Pregnancy}
Did I mention that next month we will have a new little girl in our family? NEXT MONTH PEOPLE! Can you believe it?! So here are some observations and random thoughts from a 35-week pregnant mom of 3 small children. Beware, I have a lot of hormones running through my system at the moment!
1st Trimester Anxiety
I’m now in my 11th week and it’s been an interesting first trimester.I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant. I had my first period and ovulation since Dallin had weaned and BOOM, it happened! We weren’t using any type of contraception, but we were not expecting it to happen so quickly. Immediately birth plans began brewing in my head. I assumed that I would automatically feel great about homebirth this time, and I let that simmer for a while. I had not interviewed any homebirth providers, but I figured heck, I want to know NOW whether homebirth is right for me, and that was a mistake. Ultimately I didn’t feel great about homebirth, which isn’t a surprise thinking back. I had not done my part of interviewing, thinking it out in my mind, praying about my exact plan etc. I was frustrated that I wasn’t getting the answer that I wanted and began feeling really lost about this pregnancy and birth. I felt so unprepared.Continue Reading
